Should Divorced Parents Remarry?

OUTLINE I. entering Thesis statement disjoint p bents should non remarry for the following reasons. II. remains A. Divorced elevates remarry which provide have ostracize impacts on their children 1. Children will be placed in a knotty situation. 2. Parents remarriage will ease off children pernicious influences on their behavior and subscribe to. B. Divorced parents will face complex relationships when they remarry 1. Stepparents will modernize into troubles with stepchildren. 2. Stepparents have to face clear issues link up to the first marriage. C.Counterargument and refutation. 1. Counterargument. a. Children might have a perfect family with two get under ones skin and father which help them mature. b. New spouses in stepfamilies may have well-set and harmonious marital relationship. 2. Refutation. a. Remarriage has detrimental effects on children. b. There are numerous conflicts happening in stepfamily. III. Conclusion Because of the above reasons, it is better for break parents not to remarry. Should disunite parents remarry? Remarriage of disunited parents is always a arguable issue in our modern society.Some of divorced parents choose remarriage as another(prenominal) chance or hope with a revolutionary family while m any(prenominal) others decide to become a single parent. As making the finish to remarry, divorced parents have to choose a new partner who is satisfactory not scarce for them but for their children as well. Havemann and Lehtinen (1990) quoted a sociologist, the knockouty which remarried family moldiness wrestle may be tremendous (p. 280). Divorced parents crumb get into big troubles which people in first marriages will never fore train.In our opinion, divorced parent should not remarry for somewhat rationales. Firstly, divorced parent remarriage is in the main responsible for childrens stress, depression, severe behaviors and bad schoolwork. Children not only basis be the unwitting victim of a network of jeal ous and unwarranted people but also suffer from conflict of loyalty. A study cited by Lutz (as cited in Strong, Devault & Sayad, 1998) fancyed that many children felt stressful and worried because they were post in difficult predicaments. For example, a teenage girl felt severely stressed.Although she lived with her induce and stepfather, she had to spend her weekends with her maternal grandparents and her paternal grandparents. She was always asked to report what happened at the other place and guard secret about it (R. H. Lauer & J. C. Lauer, 2007). Moreover, Visher and Visher (as cited in Devault et al. , 1998) see that many children in the stepfamilies who suffer the conflict of loyalties and loss of love from their parents stand be in a state of great anxiety, confusion and they could extend unpredictably.In addition, according to Wallerstein and Kelly (as cited in Schwartz & Scott, 1994), remarriages of divorced parents not only cause childrens tension but also affect t heir study. The boys, for instance, had detrimental attitudes and did not sharpen on study in school because their father and stepmother refused to send their biologic mother money (Havemann & Letinen, 1990). Secondly, remarried parents will face stepchildrens disputation and unresolved issues related to the first marriage.Children at any age tend to fight and begrudge their stepparent, a newcomer in their family (Lauer & Lauer, 2007). In fact, they usually show their distrust, suspect, and resentment toward their stepparent. Even when stepmother try her best to be closed to stepchildren and satiate their needs, the stepchildren still do not accept her as their real mother since they think that she is trying to replace their biological mother (DeVault, Sayad & Strong, 1998). By any cost, children try to drive a stepparent out of the home (Havemann & Lehtinen, 1990, p. 82). As a result, remarriages indeed have been devastated and disrupted by teenage stepchildren (Havemann & Leh tinen, 1990). Besides, not only stepchildren but also ex-spouses can be a complicated business with remarried couples. Especially, former marital habits have a negative impact on the rapport between new spouses (Schwartz & Scott, 1994). A woman in her 30s, for example, told some troubles about her remarriage. Her husband bought her a nice nightgown, however he had a ritual of buying small size which fit his ex-wife but it did not fit her.Similarly, she also had a mistake that she called her current husband by her ex-partners name (Havemann & Letinen, 1990). In addition, keeping in touch with ex-spouses is inevitable. For instance, Sager and his associates report that Mrs. Prince was annoyed because her husband has some calls continuously with his ex-wife many times a day for problems involving his biological children (Lauer & Lauer, 2007). Opposing people may claim that divorced parent remarriages may help the children to recover from emotional trauma of their parents divorce.Furth ermore, on account of becoming older and more undergo than in the first marriages, new spouses in stepfamilies might have loaded and harmonious marital relationship. However, as stated previously, parent remarriages put the children in a problematic position and cause their emotional troubles. For stepdaughters, both Hetherington and Joshua Fischman (as cited in Schwartz & Scott, 1994) found that they experience more depression and have more negative behaviors.Besides, there are many conflicts happening in a stepfamily, which affects new spouses harmony like stepchildrens disagreement and relationships with ex-spouses. Childrens behaviors have negative effects on the marital rapport, namely they act against stepparents and make a resentful atmosphere (Schwartz & Scott, 1994). Furthermore, stepsibling relationship is also one of the biggest problems in stepfamily because it can lead to stepsibling rivalry (Schwartz & Scott, 1994).As a result of such disharmony, it is often difficul t for remarried family to feel like a real family (Schwartz & Scott, 1994, p. 389). In conclusion, complicated problems with stepchildren and ex-spouse and negative impacts on children are two most severe issues in remarriage. twain the quality of the marital relationship and the stability in remarriage are poor. The statistics refer that divorce people who remarry have a higher divorce rate than those in first marriages (Schwartz & Scott, 1994).Therefore, to our view, it is better for divorced parents not to remarry, which benefits both them and their children. Words 852 * References DeVault, C. , Sayad, B. W. , & Strong, B. (1998). The marriage and family experience (7th ed. ). Belmont, Wadsworth publishing company. Havemann, E. & Lehtinen, M. (1990). labor unions and families (2nd ed. ). Englewood cliffs, NJ Prentice Hall. Lauer, R. H. & Lauer, J. C. (2007). Marriage & family (6th ed. ). New York Phillip A. Butcher. Schwartz, M. A. & Scott, B. M. (1994). Marriages & families. Englewood cliffs, NJ Prentice Hall.